Frequently Asked Questions

What is Project Everlasting?

Project Everlasting is a brand based on the vision to empower couples in growing deeply loving, everlasting relationships by providing them with the guidance from couples who have been happily married for over forty years. Right now, the brand consists of a book, documentary film, a television show (in development), and seminars—all brought to you by two bachelors. Our names are Mat Boggs and Jason Miller and we’ve spent the last 4 years of our lives capturing the blueprints for love and devotion. Our aim is to provide this treasure to all who strive to thrive in their relationships with the belief that this message will increase love in the world, one couple at a time.

How do people respond when you tell them you’re two bachelors who’ve written a marriage manual?

They often laugh and look at us like we’re joking. Then they furl their brows, shake their head, figure out that we’re serious, and ask “What the heck could you possibly know about marriage?” We simply reply “Absolutely nothing…but the folks we interview know a thing or two.”

What inspired you to begin the Project Everlasting mission?

Mat: Two things. First, my grandparents’ relationship was one of the most beautiful love stories I’d ever observed. In fact their marriage was one of the only long lasting love stories I had ever been around. Most of my family (parents, aunts and uncles) were divorced. So I wanted to know, from people who had been there and done that, how to create an incredible relationship.

Jason: I initially got involved with Project Everlasting because I thought it'd sound good to girls. Plus, I figured it’d be a fine opportunity to work with my best friend since 3rd grade. Such merits! Those who knew me and my commitment-phobic ways would inevitably inquire: Isn't it kind of ironic that you're doing a project about everlasting marriage when you couldn't care less about getting married? But my attitudes shifted dramatically after all of these interviews with our Marriage Masters. I witnessed the beauty of lifelong relationships and eventually got it in my heart to do everything I can to emulate these folks' love stories.

What is a successful marriage in your opinion?

One in which the joy outweighs the sorrow. The good times outweigh the bad. When there is more love in this world as a result of these two people having spent their lives together. Outstanding levels of mutual respect, acceptance, trust, connection and selflessness are the virtues that quickly clue us in to the couple's level of marital success.

How many couples have you interviewed so far?

On camera, we’ve interviewed over 250 couples from most every region of the United States.

Why is lifelong marriage an important topic?

Never before has divorce impacted a generation like it did for Generations X and Y. A solid family begins with the mother and father. We learn as children how to love one another through watching our role models. But that’s what seems to be lacking today. Our generation is waiting longer than ever before to tie the knot, which suggests that we may be fearful of making the same mistakes our parents made. If we want to have healthy relationships then we need healthy role-models.

What do you typically ask your interviewees?

We gathered our generation’s toughest relationship questions and ask our couples to provide us with the answers. Questions like: How do you keep the romance alive? What’s missing from today’s marriages? How did you know this was the one person with whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life? Each chapter of the book is devoted to one of our top eight questions. The documentary touches on these answers and features some of our favorite interviews with Ruth and Eddie, Mim and Sherm, Dean and Leone, and Joe and Millie, but also provides a real “behind-the-scenes” look at how the mission began and how it has affected us in our relationships.

What are some of the secrets to an everlasting marriage?

Mat: In today’s everyday living, we get bombarded with responsibilities and “things” to do. Our generation is the king of “To Do Lists.” Don’t get me wrong, ambition is wonderful, but the Marriage Masters often point out how lacking our ambition is for creating an extraordinarily successful relationship with the one we love. They remind us that whatever we choose to put at the top of our priority totem pole will thrive. We want to pay homage to those couples who’ve made tremendous choices to put the marriage above every other responsibility, including friends, career, children, and in-laws. It’s never an easy decision, but they persuade that if one wants an amazing marriage, one should always be cognizant of his priority system and whether or not the marriage is being given enough energy and love.

Tell us about one of your most humorous interviews.

Jason: Widows tend to be especially fond of Mat. Case in point: we were at a Napa Valley retirement village last spring, interviewing this feisty little widow over lunch in the cafeteria, and the waitress kept interrupting us to point out some single senior women who wanted Mat’s attention. Mat was asking for the attention, I suppose, since he was wearing one of our interviewee’s wigs. The funniest part was how possessive our female interviewee became when Mat started getting cat calls from the other ladies. “I got a boyfriend already,” she said, “but he doesn’t look half as good as you.” Still, her sweet nothings couldn’t stop one of the other widows from eventually snagging him up to her room for a meringue dancing lesson. Mat trying to keep up with an 85-year-old Latina goddess is a sight I’ll never forget.

Mat: Some of these folks, no matter what their age might suggest, just don’t quit searching for adventures. One Northern Californian man wouldn’t grant us an interview unless we were willing to follow him down to his favorite swimming hole. We’re thinking of an elder friendly hot springs pool or something at the YMCA, but oh no, next thing we know we’re speeding along this crazy mountain road in his Mini Cooper (he wants to show us how well it handles) down to a ravine. This guy, 90 years old, pulls out his mountain climbing rope, ties it around a tree (Jason asks him, “Isn’t that poison oak you’re standing in sir?” To which he answers, “Doesn’t bother me much.”), and proceeds to rappel down this sharply declining embankment. When we all finally reach the river, he shouts, “Hope y’all don’t mind. I swim in the nude!” So there he is, this 90-year-old Grizzly Adams, floating around the river on a pink blow-up mattress, showing us what living in the fourth quarter should really be like. I can’t help but laugh at the photo of Jason sitting on the boulder next to Grandpa Buck, asking questions about everlasting love and marriage.

What is your favorite love story that you’ve heard so far?

We interviewed a Jewish couple that spent the beginning years of their marriage separated by WWII. Over the course of two-and-a-half years they wrote over two-thousand love letters back and forth to each other. They put the letters in an old leather suitcase and about three weeks prior to us interviewing them they had opened the suitcase for the first time in over fifty years. Every night they read one of their letters to each other before they go to bed. That interview ended up lasting four hours! We were in awe.

How has this project affected you personally?

Mat: Doing this project has given me hope that I can build a deep loving marriage for myself one day. My eyes have really opened to the idea that there is no one cookie cutter mold for a happy marriage. Successful relationships come in many different styles. I try to judge my own relationships less and simply enjoy them for what they are.

Jason: It may sound trite, but this adventure has taught me how to love. Many have attempted to define what love is, but there is no clearer definition than in the stories of sacrifice and giving that our Marriage Masters have shared with us. These people exemplify true love so pure that I could not help but release the cynicism that has guarded my heart for the majority of my adult life. After witnessing over a hundred incredible love stories from people who still cherish each other after 40, 50, even 75 years of marriage, the president of Relationship Cynics of America officially left the building. And I think it’s important to note that we in Gen-X/Y have good reason to be jaded! Look at the wreckage left behind by our parents’ generation. Most every one of my friends’ parents are divorced; my parents, going on year thirty now, seem to be the exception to the rule. So, I think the biggest personal reward of our Project Everlasting mission is when I see people’s hope in everlasting love become reignited. In my opinion, the hope our interviewees instill within all of us will be the most invaluable, unexpected result of the project.

How have you applied the principles in your romantic relationships?

Jason: Oh, you mean we’re expected to actually apply this stuff? Wait, we’d actually need to have girlfriends, right? Kidding aside, when we do find women who are able to put up with our lengthy lists of standard issue male faults and foibles, we do tend to take relationships very seriously and strive for excellence. The application of all these great time-tested principles remains a totally cerebral endeavor (so says my last girlfriend), and nobody will be labeling us as naturals, but we’ve found it helpful to continually ask ourselves, “What would our Marriage Masters do in this situation?” In most cases, this technique gives us the answers to questions like, would a Marriage Master choose a weekend of Packers vs. Bears or a weekend in Santa Barbara with his woman?

Mat: There has been a few times where the Marriage Master principles helped us through some very serious relationship issues. For instance, I remember my struggles to cope with a girlfriend who was dealing with an intense bout of depression. I took that issue to our interviewees and asked them how to handle such a situation. One husband shared how his wife stuck by his side throughout a 12 year bout with clinical depression…and I quickly learned what love and commitment really looked like, even in the ugly times. To me, that’s the power of this project—nobody’s perfect in marriage and none of our interviewees claim to be—but their incredible stories serve as credible sources for hope and how-to guidance.

Do you feel like the information you’re gathering is relevant to today’s relationships? Why?

Yes and no. In this day and age, when it comes to subjects like dating and the whole process of figuring out who we’re going to marry, there seems to be a less relevant comparison between the generations. For many of our interviewees, the pool of potential mates was limited to the folks in town; today we are one click away from meeting Ms. Venezuela or Ms. Somalia. For better or worse, we are in a completely different dating climate than what Tom Brokaw calls “The Greatest Generation.” But the principles of commitment, or placing the marriage on top of the priority totem pole, or choosing to be more responsible to the relationship’s well-being than our ego’s demands for self-gratification—these principles are all timeless and should be considered entirely relevant to today’s relationships.

What do you hope to accomplish with this project?

We would love to see this book and film get in the hands of every newlywed couple in America. We would love to see the stories we’ve collected so inspire people that they actually take time out to do what we did and interview their own grandparents. Their wisdom is priceless.

What’s next with your project?

We have just decided upon the concept of our next book and we’re hoping Simon & Schuster, which has been an excellent team to work with on Book I, will go on our next journey with us. Without letting the cat out of the bag too much on Book II, we can tell you that it does has a similar premise (two bachelors travel the nation to discover the secrets of America’s Marriage Masters), but a different approach to collecting the material. It will read more like a story. And we’ll each be taking along a bachelorette! People can nominate Marriage Masters and bachelorettes for the Book II road trip via this link.

How did you keep from killing each other when you spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in an RV together?

Who knows? We made sure to allot one hour every day in our trip schedule for Bachelor beat down sessions. Basically, we just duked it out and got it out of the system so that the other 23 hours could be semi-amicable. You think we’re kidding! Seriously though, it was a rough trip for all involved, including our small team of friends (DramaLutz, Pamela, Jessica, Christian, and Grandma Dorothy) who all worked their butts off to help make things go smoothly. Our practice of the Marriage Masters’ principles for acceptance, respect, effective communication, and selflessness were perpetually tested all across America.

How do you finance all of these ambitious adventures?

People who believe in what we’re doing and want to see our mission come to fruition, basically. In the beginning stages, we had some friends and family who made financial contributions, but more important for our project were all the friends who’ve come aboard the team to offer their amazing talents for very little financial gain. Everything that we make, it seems, goes right back into our research efforts. Also, we used to hold down pseudo day jobs to keep our bachelor tummies full while we burned the midnight oil writing the book proposal and editing the film.

What has been the number one highlight of your journey?

Jason: I made an important realization during one particular interview that had a Marriage Master widow holding Mat in one arm and myself in the other as she shared her love stories with us: we are capturing moments of pure gold—priceless, invaluable gifts from people who decide to open up and share their lives, their hearts, and their truest emotions with us and our viewers. It just sort of dawned on me how precious this project is and how fortunate I am to be doing what I’m doing through it. I am a witness of America’s greatest love stories, treasures that would most likely go to the grave if nobody took the time to sit down with these folks and ask: What is lifelong love all about?

Do you believe that this project is going to make a difference?

Absolutely. In fact, Project Everlasting is already making a difference. The reason we know this is because we get hundreds of emails every month from people of all ages, male and female, friends and strangers who have been touched, inspired and empowered by the material we’re sharing. We love the fact that this ideal of lifelong love is so popular and we get fueled by this notion that the bridge we’re offering from those who’ve lived great marriages to those who want great marriages has already been impactful in so many lives.

How can people best support your project?

We are always on the lookout for great love stories and great couples, partnerships with great organizations with similar objectives, and feedback on our mission or works-in-progress. Feel free to contact us directly—we’re quite chatty and amiable (or at least one of us will be). If you’re in the media world, we’d love to share our top three secrets to everlasting marriage with your audience. See contacts for our publicity manager’s information.